Letter from a caring mother...

Piaare Puttar (dear son),

Just a few lines to you to let you know that I am still alive. I'm writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We have moved, so we don’t live where we did when you left home. Your pappa read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved 20 miles away. I won’t be able to send you the address because the Sardar (landlord) who stayed here took the number plate with him for his next house, so he would not have to change his address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 5 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad either, it rained only twice last week: the first time it rained for 4 days and second time for 3 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your nani (grandmother) said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. I went to the doctor's on Sunday and your father came with me, he was quite grumpy I have to say, I think it was because he would rather have watched the Cricket... Anyway, the doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 15 minutes. Your father offered some money and all the jewelry that I was wearing to buy it from him. Your father has another job. He has 1500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Ramesh fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off very bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for 5 days. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
A lot of love form Nani, Nana, Chaci, Chacia, Masi, Masa, Puppi, Puppa, Banji, Banja, Bahre Baih, Chote Baih, Baiji, Munna, Munni, and pappaji.
Mammá.

P.S. Remeber to eat makkhan (butter) every day, and also to eat gobi and aloo-chola!
P.S.S. When will you make your mammá happy? When are you going to get married? you are getting old you know! and I would like to play with my 10 grandchildren.
P.S.S.S. I was going to send you $10 with this letter but I have already sealed the envelope...